If Scrooge McDuck was stingy.

You are very poor.

You've spent your days breaking your back to put bread on your table, which you can then eat and put food into your stomach. But this requisite act of eating will always have the side effect of grimy teeth and smelly breath, thus ruining any of your chances of procuring a mate and thus living a filfilled and happy life. Sadly though, your roll of toothpaste has run out, and you are too poor to buy another one. Normally you would just curl the tube manually, or squeeze it all out in an inefficient manner, but since your back has broken from toiling in the field, you barely lack the strength to lift your tooth brush.

If only there was some sort of device you could buy that would take all the effort out of this impossible task.

Enter Cedes Toothpaste Squeezer, the one and only chrome plated device you will ever need to squeeze the last few cents out of your precious tube of colgate. This incredibly simple device means you wont have an awkwardly crumpled tube sitting atop your basin, and you will most definitely be the envy of all your friends with grimy teeth. 

Unless of course they learn about the $300 price tag.

Then you'll just look like an ass.

But your teeth will be shiny, and it practically pays for itself after your 2000th tube...